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This page lists all of the quotes said by Cranky Kong throughout the entire Donkey Kong series.

Donkey Kong Country

Normal

  • "Well, well! I didn't expect to see YOU today!"
  • "You're doing pretty good to get this far..."
  • "So you found me, did ya?! What do you want?!"
  • "Who told you I was here? Was it that obnoxious Funky Kong?"
  • "Well, well! Look what the cat dragged in!"
  • "Haven't seen you in this neck of the woods in a long time!"
  • "What do you want, eh? I'm a busy ape, I am!"
  • "Ahh! At last! Somebody to chat with!"
  • "You're lucky you caught me, I was just heading out."
  • "Have you brought back those bananas I loaned you?"
  • "Last time I saw you, you were wearing diapers!"
  • "Come over here and let me have a look at you!"
  • "Well looky what we have here!"
  • "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?!"
  • "A whole mob of Kremlings just passed through!"
  • "This here's rhino country!"
  • "Hey boy! Can you believe the shack they stuck me in?!"
  • "Hey boy! Did you fetch me my paper?!"
  • "You big ape! I could hear you coming from miles away!"
  • "It's hard to find peace and quiet any more, with you around!"
  • "Sure, come on over! Beats talking to myself..."
  • "Ahh! It sorta takes me back, seeing you here!"
  • "Boy, this place has been busy lately! What with all the Kremlings, and now you!"
  • "Sure looks like I'm Mr. Popular today, yes siree!"
  • "Sure beats a visit from Mrs. Kong! How can I help you?"
  • "Fancy running into you two way out here!"
  • "I ain't got nothing left, so don't even ask."
  • "I just gave my last barrel to that orangutan buddy of yours."
  • "What in tarnation do you want?"
  • "More freeloaders?!"
  • "Well I ain't got nothin' for ya, so scram!"
  • "Betcha won't get much further than this..."

Beta quotes

Donkey only

  • "Donkey boy! Where's Diddy?"
  • "Donkey, you young whippersnapper! Long time no see!"
  • "Donkey boy! It seems like years since we last met!"

Grandpa Greetings

  • "It's about time you visited your frail, old Grandpa!"
  • "Hey! Can you spare your old pappy a banana?"
  • "And what have you brought for your old Grandpa?"
  • "Well, you've amazed your old Grandpa by getting this far!"
  • "So, you've finally come to get some game play advice from your old Grandpa!"

Diddy only

  • "Diddy boy! Where's Donks?"
  • "Diddy, you young pup! Boy, I can't believe how much you've grown."

Level Tips

Level Tips

Animal Buddy Tips

  • "Keep your eyes peeled for Rambi the rhino! He can crash into almost any hidden room."
  • "He can't really fly, but Expresso the ostrich can flutter about."
  • "Enguarde the swordfish will help you get straight to the point!"
  • "Rambi the rhino can help you, but he'll want to charge for it!"

General Tips

  • "I hear if you roll off a platform, and press the jump button, you'll do a super jump."
  • "Someone told me that if you hold down the Y Button, you can run!"
  • "I read in the manual that you can jump farther if you hold down the run button."
  • "I reckon that Rambi the rhino could break open just about any hidden entrance."
  • "If you bounce a keg off a wall and then jump on it as it rolls back, you can ride it!"
  • "If you roll attack a baddie, your speed increases when you hit the next one!"
  • "I was told that if you bounce on eight consecutive baddies, you'll get an extra life."
  • "I heard that Expresso the ostrich can't jump on baddies. I guess his legs are too thin."
  • "If you see a barrel with stars on it, break it open! It's a mid point marker."
  • "Find Candy and she can save your game for you!"
  • "Funky can send you anywhere you've already been on the island, in a flash!"
  • "Look out for disguised holes on the ground and jump on them from a great height"
  • "Look out for banana arrows, they'll point the way! Of course, I wouldn't need them!"
  • "If you find any bananas, you can be sure the Kremlings have been there before you!"
  • "If you find any barrels with DK on them, smash them open! Your buddy might be inside!"
  • "Grab any extra life balloons quickly, before they float away!"

Barrel Tips

  • "Floating barrels will break as soon as you touch them."
  • "Steel ringed barrels break only when they hit a wall."
  • "Steel kegs are indestructible, follow them and they'll mow down all baddies in their path!"
  • "Hold the run button down and jump on baddies to gain extra spring to your leaps!"
  • "Bounce on the fixed tires to hurdle obstacles and reach bonuses!"
  • "Push the free tires to areas where they will help you find hidden bonus levels.

Baddie Tips

  • "Klaptrap's teeth are too big to use the roll attack! You need to jump on him!"
  • "Zingers sport spikes on their backs! You can't jump on them unless you're riding Winky!"
  • "Klump's hard hat protects him against your jump attack. You'll have to roll him!"
  • "Krusha is the toughest Kremling-- only a barrel will knock him out!"
  • "You can roll over Slippa, or just squash him with a jump attack!"
  • "Gnawty the beaver can be rolled or jumped on!"

Ranting

  • "You kids today! You don't have any respect for your elders!"
  • "We never had movement like this when I was in video games!"
  • "All this fun can't be good for you!"
  • "I bet they wasted half the memory already, just on this section alone!"
  • "They can't keep this level of graphics up for much longer!"
  • "We used to be lucky if we got three shades of gray, let alone any real colors!"
  • "We used to have to survive with a two frame walk!"
  • "Sometimes our sprites used to change size for no apparent reason!"
  • "We never had any of this fancy 3-D stuff! Oh no, we had to survive on what we had!"
  • "And what little we did have, we were happy with!"
  • "Well, I've never seen anything like it!"
  • "Enjoy this demo while you can, it can't last much longer!"
  • "That's right, 4 shades of gray, in a 2x2 character block, that's all we had..."
  • "I can't play this game, the colors are all too rich for my poor old eyes!"
  • "Why, even the bananas have more frames and colors than I had in the entire game!"
  • "Look!...look at this!...as I rock, my beard swings! Waste of frames in my opinion!"
  • "Aye! That was when we had real game play, that was!"
  • "And this was developed with the latest state-of-the-art 3D workthingys, was it?"
  • "The trouble with you kids, is that you're all too soft!"
  • "The old games were far harder when I was a young 'un!"
  • "We used to play for hours on a single screen game and think we were lucky, and we were!"
  • "You wouldn't last two minutes in a real game!"
  • "I could get through D.K.Country with only one life, easy!"
  • "I'm talking about when games were games!"
  • "3 lives and 3 continues, that's all we had!"
  • "Games never looked like this when I was a lad!"
  • "And we were much better off in those days as well."
  • "Bet you thought this was 64-bit eh, boy?!"
  • "I've got more game play in my little finger than you've got in this whole game!"
  • "Y'know what they say, all graphics and no game play!"
  • "32 meg..? That would be more than 30 games in my day, and they'd be great games, too!"
  • "Back in my days, we used to have real game play..."
  • "You know what's even worse? When you get to the end, and then have to start again!"
  • "You wouldn't know a good game if you were in it!"
  • "A single joystick, and a single button is all that's needed to make good game play!"
  • "I wouldn't be seen dead in a game like this one!"
  • "I say you can't better the graphics, sounds and playability of a Game & Watch!"
  • "So you're back again! I knew a punk kid like you couldn't do the job..."
  • "That was quick. You didn't leave me enough time to think of any other stupid comments!"
  • "I don't know why I'm telling you all this, you didn't listen last time!"
  • "You have to do better than that!"
  • "You only just left!"
  • "Back again?! That was quick!"
  • "Came back to the master for more advice, hunh?!"
  • "Still got you beat, hunh?!"
  • "Yup! Don't make game players like they used to!"
  • "Okay, I'll do the level for you!... Naw!.. Only kidding!"
  • "I don't know how you dare show your face in here again, after that pitiful performance!"

Parting Comments

  • "That's all folks! There's nothing more I can tell you."
  • "You know all you need to know, for now."
  • "Come back and see me sometime, I'll be here!"
  • "I don't know any more than that at the moment."
  • "That's all there is to it. Piece of cake if you ask me."
  • "So long, suckers! Try not to hurt yourself out there!"
  • "That's all the advice old Cranky here can give you."
  • "I'm getting tired, I gotta take me a nap!"
  • "You practically know more than I do, now. Well... almost."
  • "I don't have anything else to tell you right now, maybe later."
  • "I could sit here and rock all day, especially if you two leave me alone!"
  • "I gotta go now, I'll see you guys later... if you're lucky!"
  • "Well, that's about the size of it!"
  • "Say, is that the time? I gotta fly."
  • "I could tell you yarns about the old days all day long!"
  • "Y'all come back now, hear?!"
  • "If you get stuck, come back and see me."
  • "Can't say I expect to see you again, but you might get lucky, I guess."
  • "It's been nice talking to you guys."
  • "Eh sonny? Speak up, I can't hear you!"
  • "Donkey Kong, I've seen enough! That tie-- turn it off!"
  • "This stereo sound is making my tired old ears bleed! Turn it down before you go!"
  • "All this game play is too much for me."
  • "I'm back to my cabin for a nap! Remember the original Donkey Kong? Think I'll go play that... see you later!"
  • "There's too many baddies around for my liking..."
  • "I'm off to lie down!"
  • "I'd ask you in, but they didn't have any memory left to display the cabin interior!"
  • "Now, off you go!! See if you can't finish this ridiculous quest without my help!"
  • "Make sure to shut the gate on your way out. I didn't raise you in a barn!"
  • "See ya later, alligator! Ha! Ha!"
  • "After a while, crocodile!"

Final Comments

  • "Well done Donkey my boy! Who'd have thought a young whippersnapper like you could've beaten that bunch of no good Kremlings? You've made an old man proud! Go and look in your hoard, I think you'll be in for a surprise!"

Full Completion Comments

  • "What a player you are, Donkey my lad! You've beaten the Kremlings, and found absolutely

everything! You're nearly as good as I used to be!"

Team Comments

  • "Congratulations Red Team!"
  • "You whupped those crafty crocodiles and are first past the post!"
  • "Whatever happened to the Yellow Team? I guess those guys need more practice!"
  • "Whatever happened to the Red Team? I guess those guys need more practice!"
  • "Congratulations Yellow Team!"
  • "If I had been playing, I'd have found everything!"
  • "I'm sure there must be some bonus rooms you haven't found!"
  • "Well, well, well, if it isn't the Red Team! What happened to you two?"
  • "The Yellow Team finished ages ago! Too good for you were they, huh?"
  • "Well, well, well, if it isn't the Yellow Team! What happened to you two?"
  • "The Red Team finished ages ago! Too good for you were they, huh?"

Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest

Donkey Kong Country 3 (Game Boy Advance)

Donkey Kong 64

Diddy Kong Pilot (2003 build)

  • "Well, well... I didn't think you had it in you, but you actually proved you could do it..."
  • "The Boss Race is now ready to try... Select that Kremlings' ugly face from the Cups screen and show 'em what we're made of..."
  • "This is time to teach that stupid Kremling a lesson. Go out and show him who's boss..."
  • "Don't even think about coming back 'till you've beaten him."
  • "That wasn't too difficult was it? Get on and race the rest of them, nothing is going to happen until you beat all four"
  • "Let's see how good you are. I've left six coins on each track and you need to collect them all and still beat me in a race..."
  • "Think you are up for it? You don't stand a chance."
  • "Before we start, lets get a few things straight.... You are racing for the pride of Team Kong, don't let us down..."
  • "I did not suffer those interminable amounts of monotonous gameplay for you to blow it all now. Each cup is made of four races."
  • "If you win, then you need to go head to head against a Kremling to show them who's boss..."
  • "Look out for the Target Balloons... Shoot them and a secret boost will appear... fly right through it and something special will happen..."
  • Think you can handle it? I very much doubt it."
  • Pah! That's enough of that! My boys are going to start taking this seriously now... Enough of this impendence..."

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